Darkness.
3 am and paralytic nightmares.
Flashes of emotions
Voices blending together.
“Worthless”
“Waste of space”
“All your fault”
I cannot be less than what they expect—
Perfection.
In. Out. In. Out.
The breaths get shorter.
My eyes are stinging but I’ve run out of tears.
Trembling. Shivering.
I am empty, cold inside-out.
But it’s unbearably hot.
Every single orifice in my body weeping sweat.
Gasp. Pain.
Fingernails digging into my palms.
It grounds me
Yet my throat keeps on screaming.
Am I sick? No I can’t be.
Throw up and move on.
Monsters crawling, screaming in my head
Taking over me.
I don’t know how to stop them anymore.
In. Out. In.
Why is there no oxygen?
I’m not collapsing.
It’s just the embrace of black, all black.
Darkness.
3 am and my anxiety.
Panic Attack
